I was on Google Maps last night with a friend and we started looking at our houses. I was astonished to see ME outside my house sitting on a chair in the sun next to my washing line! I am wearing my favourite flowery skirt. I know exactly when it was taken as my husband … Continue reading »
one thing my husband is so amazing at doing is thanking me for what I do. He thanks me every day with sincerity and passion in one way or another and not just for the obvious things like a nice meal, but for things that he has noticed I have done in a certain way; … Continue reading »
The idea of living according to life’s circadian rhythms has really been paying off for me in the last six weeks I have been practising it. The phases move in 4-hourly cycles throughout the day. From 6-10 a.m. is the cleansing time. If I am asleep in a dark room by 10 p.m. (the end … Continue reading »
The most important thing that Awakening [and watching two sheep graze on a hillside] gives you, is not the sense of being Nothing – not the sense of being ONE – yeah yeah, I know all of that comes, that’s right, but it is ephemeral, it passes, it goes in and out; pulsates, ovulates. No, … Continue reading »
Even later, although there was nothing doing, it was as though everything was happening at once. The mundane things coupled up with the extraordinary; the words, the writing, the drawing, the listening, the washing up, the cleaning. Nothing doing, nothing doing, that’s all. But it was all doing, not to me, not to a person, … Continue reading »
Sometime after this, there had been a settling and an unsettling movement within my life; things had drawn themselves away from the perfect moment, things had become more important, things had become things that needed to be attended to do. I seemed a million miles away from that awakening moment, that point in time that, … Continue reading »
There is an abiding image of the day after the night before the dream, in the park. Her hair, flamed-red Moving as if on another plane. Totally all it needed to be Glinting in the light Of fireflies And the rain came, that afternoon before the night in the park But nothing was dulled. I … Continue reading »
A week after the day after the night of the dream it seemed that life continued to move in all the normal ways. I once again found that nothing, not one hair, not one thought, not one word was out of place. There could still be identification with a person doing things in this normal … Continue reading »
A few days after the day after the dream, I was back to normal. Back to the life of me, the life of ups and downs, of fear of deaths, of minuscule wanderings and wonderings, of this fantasy life. Awakening seemed a million miles away back then, the day before that day. The struggle continued … Continue reading »
That morning after the dream, I woke up to a different world. The difference was, there was no me waking up, although there was evidently some waking up taking place. There were two sheep grazing on the hill outside the house, there was warmth of a body within the sheets and there was a husband … Continue reading »
The snowstorm continues to howl and all around it seems like The Death of the World is taking place. How strange that life can turn to death within an instant, within a breath of icy wind, within a stroke of a knife, the swallowing of a sugared pill. Still I sit at my window seat … Continue reading »
Three perfect things about today: Spending an hour collecting fallen wood for fire kindling on the other side of the river, all four of us, a family. Picking up damp, moss-covered branches looking distinctly like deer antlers and being reminded of all the riches of autumn. Lying on the sofa with the sun slanting in … Continue reading »
I am sitting here between a window of darkness and the open fire, with my ancient mac whirring away to deliver the news to me and to send out news to others. Snow lies on the mountain top and there is a frenzy of floodlit activity across the river as dumper trucks pile mounds and … Continue reading »
Saw the moon low in the sky at 3 in the morning and for a moment had the overwhelming feeling that I was in a small hut overlooking a primal scene with only a few other people living on the planet. I felt ancient and the forest surrounded me. There is something about the moon … Continue reading »
The sun is now creeping down the side of the valley by 7.30 a.m. and by then I was scrambling up the mountain this morning in my vibrams. Such a joy to scramble up and cross the moss-covered stones, overhanging branches and little waterfalls and see the deep forest waking up. My feet are longer … Continue reading »
Although we are under five feet of snow, in the last few days I have felt the most imperceptable stirrings from the deep down in the earth. The birds, who usually lie quietly in the thicket, are all a twitter – carrying gifts for their mates, fussing around in the bush, tidying and making ready … Continue reading »
