constant state of flux

My first crush was on my teacher, I was ten. He was a part-time fireman. He used to bring watercolors of birds which he had painted into the class for me to see.

I have scoliosis, which is a curvature of the spine. I wore a full torso brace when I was thirteen for two years. It helped my back, but not my self esteem.

I believe in energy healing.

I once had a shamanic healing session with a shaman in London. She brought me face to face with a lost part of my soul – a young girl with a deer.

I gained a masters degree from the Royal College of Art in London in textile design and fashion in 1995.

A bat flew in the window of our house last night. I got a really close up view of it. This kind of thing makes my day.

I never iron my sheets or my clothes.

I cringe at some of things I write on this blog. How on earth am I going to explain myself to my friends and family when they finally read it?

At the moment I am not speaking to my mother. It will be ok, I think. She just called. it was the best conversation we have had in the last ten years. The only difference was me.

When I went to Mexico, I was too frightened to leave the house to go and visit the pyramids in a taxi by myself.

When I was sixteen, we went to Egypt. My parents were both ill so they put me and my eleven-year-old sister in a taxi by ourselves and sent us across the city to watch the son et lumiere at the pyramids one night. The taxi broke down.

I once arrived in Bali at one in the morning after missing a connecting flight in Jakarta from Hong Kong, with no money or anywhere to stay. The taxi driver was very kind. I ended up in a beautiful hotel at two in the morning contemplating walking on the beach. He told me not to go.

My brother has a brain tumour. It is behind his eye.

My first kiss was on holiday in France. Not so far away from here in fact. Our car broke down on the way home and I remember sitting by the side of the road crying. My heart had been broken. After that I resolved that I would be the one to do all the breaking.

I wanted to run away to the circus when I was younger to perform on horse back in the ring.

I also wanted to be a gypsy and live in a wooden caravan.

I love raw milk.

I think my life revolves around the cycles of the moon.

We once had a very large vegetable allotment near our house in England. We were told not to rotivate it by the locals, but we did. Biggest mistake in our gardening experience, that was.

I love the seashore on a cold and windy day.

(carry on to the third twenty)