constant state of flux

And five memories from each one:

1 number 5 – The South Coast of England:
swallowing a marble and then seeing my mother throw it out of the window after finding it in the toilet a week later
my father building a rabbit hutch in the back garden
my brother throwing a dart through an open window from the garden and it nearly hitting me
wolves pacing outside my bedroom door
watching for witches on the rooftops on Halloween

2 number 17, in the same road:
lying under the plum trees with flies tickling my legs
watching birds feeding on the bird table
knocking over a crystal vase in the dining room
my first boyfriend throwing a stone at my window to wake me up
crying when the oak tree was cut down

3 Badger Farm, UK:
hanging wet, dyed yarn over the radiators to dry and staining the enamel,
leaving the central heating on all over Christmas and getting a bill for £120,
memorising all the answers to Trivial Pursuit
feeding apples to horses
catching the bus to college in the cold

4 Willesden Green, London:
a damp patch on the wall above the bed
milk in the fridge
lying on the floor and waiting for a phone call from Italy
sitting on a computer all night to finish a thesis
Bjork’s ‘Debut’ Album playing in the car when I drove away for the last time

5 number 220a, East London:
two men knocking my front door down
Talking Italian in the kitchen
soya milk in the fridge
straining out of a window to watch the guy downstairs leave for work
a flip chart by my brother’s bed

6 number 214, East London:
watching the olympic games in the guy downstairs’ bed
doing his ironing
playing with his 2 year old child
pushing my toothbrush closer to his
crying to my mother down the phone

7 The Gold Coast, Hong Kong:
sitting on a beach all night, talking
putting red lipstick on in front of my tiny mirror every morning before work
my flat mate’s hairy boyfriend
the death of Princess Diana on the news
soap in my eye on the morning of my first modelling job

8 My Parent’s House – The South Coast of England:
seeing soft rain falling in the garden the day my father died
eating vegan food for a month and getting thin
knitting in bed
having a drink out with my next door neighbour and meeting Jules
shouting at my mother

9 Blackheath, London:
growing tomatoes on the roof
waiting until my landlady had gone to bed until I did the washing up
9/11
waking up at 6 a.m. with the sun on my face
running up four flights of stairs to connect my computer to the phone line with an extension cord

10 Hector’s House, UK:
the birth of Bubble, at 2.05 a.m. at home
sitting all day in the same position on the sofa staring at her
slugs in the kitchen every morning
Bubble sitting with Hector the rabbit in the back garden
the smell of the sea on the allotment

11 The Birdy House, France:
sitting out in the sun with Bubble in the bath
watching the moon coming up over the horizon every night
seeing a hawfinch on the bird table outside the window
walking to work across snowy fields
a vase of willow buds on the table

12 Hunting Dog House, small hamlet in the Alps:
Leaving the house for Bubble’s first day at school
the Wizard of Oz
bringing Squeak back from the hospital one snowy day in December and putting her on the red rug
an earthquake
Jule’s mother telling me to turn the music down

13 Gingerbread House, same hamlet in Alps:
standing on the shaky bridge that crosses the waterfall in the back garden
trucks rumbling past the front of the house
the smell of the fire on a winter’s morning
watching for Sirius to rise over the side of the mountain
cobwebs in the eaves

13 First-Floor Flat, further down the valley:
a fish tank full of darting babies
cutting out paper snowflakes on the parquet floor
wanting to know who the hell was looking back at me in the mirror
thunderstorms
the stone fountain wrapped in plastic

14 Sirius’ House:
vacuuming up dog fur three times a day
being pulled down the road
lying on the bed surfing the internet
coffee + headaches
frying steak on the BBQ for breakfast